I wish I had some interesting things to say.
It's been way too long since I blogged last and I have nothing to show for the time away. I could complain about a thousand different things but I will refrain.
The days slip by so quickly. Every day is the exact same. Wake up, drive a half hour to work, stand for nine or so hours, drive another half hour home, make dinner, go to sleep. I would like to agree with most of the rest of the world and say something like "oh well, that's life - get used to it." but, I am not a pessimist. My optimism on life is almost sickening. Zeal is constantly overtaking my insides.
You're probably confused at this though since I often say how I hate my job, I hate people, or my new favorite "it's the end of the world, you better save your soul before it's too late" schpeal (sp?).
Let me explain myself a little bit better.
I do, indeed, hate my job.
I also hate people - only people that insist on sticking hot forks in my eyeballs and smile. (obviously not literally - although I sometimes think I would almost rather.)
I also believe that it is the end of the world, or very close to it.
I am so overflowing on the inside - and to my poor husband - with excitement and sunshine-y love for this life that I live and the life that I am going to live. Everyday I make new plans and dreams for us. A lot of the time I get overwhelmed because we live in a crappy apartment with white walls that make me feel as though I am locked inside of an asylum with Hell and all it's fury burning right below my feet (neighbors). Or because I work at a place where I am constantly degraded and treated like a circus animal. I mean, those few things are kind of awful in my eyes, but they could be a lot worse. When I really stop and think about my life I realize that I am only just starting out - we are just starting out.
Josh and I are both only 19 years old.
We still have acne and baby fat in our cheeks.
I shouldn't expect to have my own business, be thinking about buying a house, wanting all new furniture.
In the past few months I have been stressing myself out way too much with expectations and demands to myself of what our life should look like, when in all reality, our life is pretty damn (sorry, Mom) good.
I have more than I ever dreamed of when I was even 16 years old. All my life I told my parents that I would never get married and I would move to a big city; now look, married just after I (and Josh) turned 18.
I love thinking about our life and the countless adventures that are ahead of us. As much as I gripe and bellyache about the little things that happen day to day, I know that I am not going to work at The Bad Place for the rest of my life, or live in this apartment for even 5 more months, or have gross couches until I am 45.
I have the most blessed life and I am so thankful for every moment. I have a wonderful, caring husband who treats me like a Fairy Princess, we have jobs that pay well, cars that haven't needed work (with the exception of tires), and a roof over our heads. What more should I be asking for? Warm weather, maybe?
On a lighter note:
Josh bought a new computer. But it's the cutest thing...right after he brought it home and set it up, I found him sitting on the couch reading a book. Cutest guy ever - I'm telling you.
On a darker note:
Monday I'm taking the cat to the vet to get his male parts operated on and maybe to get de-clawed (depending on the price).